For Immediate Release
August 18, 2008
SATIRE:
Affluent Traders of Oregon Welcomes the “Corporate America Wins with Trade” Tour to Portland
Portland, OR — Affluent Traders of Oregon (ATO) helped welcome the “Corporate America Wins with Trade” tour during its visit to Triad Speakers, Inc in northeast Portland this morning. The bus tour, sponsored by the Consumer Electronics Association, is traveling the United States to drum up support for the Bush administration’s stalled free trade pacts with Colombia, Panama and South Korea. For video of the tour, visit: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZaZRuyiGucw
“The public relations subcontractors running this bus tour are fighting the good fight. Free trade agreements may not be popular with voters, but they are absolutely crucial if corporations are to continue shifting jobs around the globe to where labor is the cheapest and environmental protections the weakest,” said ATO Communications Director Rob Depoor. “Those rare businesses like Triad that still manufacture in the U.S. are wise to keep their options open. There’s a killing to be made in offshoring.”
ATO joined the Consumer Electronics Association in calling on Congress to immediately pass the Colombia Free Trade Agreement, arguing that the ongoing human rights violations in Colombia make for a sound investment climate that large corporations are eager to exploit.
“Some people find the murder of trade unionists in Colombia distasteful, but in tough economic times like these, a cooperative labor pool is essential in order to ensure rising returns on investment,” said Depoor. “Until people are voluntarily willing to accept a couple dollars a day in wages and be happy about it, partnerships with military and paramilitary regimes are simply a fact of life in the business world. If that reality makes Americans uncomfortable, they should stop paying attention.”
“The ‘Corporate America Wins with Trade’ tour is just what we need to jumpstart support for continued NAFTA expansion,” said ATO President Ivanna Slavesbach. “My only hope is that next time they will find a jet or a helicopter for their tour. Quite frankly, this whole bus theme is a little trashy. Overall, great work though!”
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CHANTS:
“Hey, hey. Ho ho. Family-wage jobs have got to go.”
“Congress. Get off it! Help the rich make more profit.”
“Who gives a crap about the poor? Offshore, offshore, offshore more.”
“What do we want? Money. When do we want it? Now.”
“Colombian death squads may seem wrong, but they make our profits extremely strong.”
“Colombia, Korea, Panama, Peru. If you could make billions, what would you do?”
“Money, money, money, money. Money!”